Even though it feels empowering to fool everyone into thinking that all is right and okay, my mind is disintegrating and my interest is burning out. I’m fed up with people getting away with psychological abuse. Think. Choose your words wisely. You never know what could torment someone enough to bring them over the edge.
I have been living mindlessly for too long to feel like myself anymore. I’ve stashed away different parts of me with no memory of what they were, or where they could be. I feel empty. It’s exhausting.. thinking about ending it all. How it would affect the people I once knew, if I would leave any impressions… I don’t know why those things matter, but that’s what comes to mind. I don’t really question what would be waiting for me on the other side. Probably something I should put more thought into. Though the thought at all is completely selfish, it is the “more important” question, if you were to question anything at all, yes? No longer will I give anyone my kindness, generosity, or genuine character. I can’t give my love away for free anymore if what I get back in return is mud. I have involuntarily created a breeding ground for animosity inside of me. Everything I knew as a child or adolescent is tainted with the impurity of the wicked and evil things people have proved to me to be the actual reality of life. I am disappointed, and afraid for this World.